Nigel & Kim's  Story

There are no words you can say to a parent who has lost a child to ease their pain. There is no way for a grieving parent to explain to someone else what it is to lose a child. It is a singular, heartbreaking experience that will change a person for the rest of their lives. After 5 boys, we were expecting our first baby girl, Sarah. All was prepared and we were counting the days until she would be with us. But all of that was taken away one sunny, Sunday afternoon when I suffered a massive abruption and was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery to save both our lives. Sarah was lost to us and I spent two days in Intensive Treatment. After being transferred to the bereavement suite, I spent a further 5 days in a brain numbing existence going from excruciating pain to disbelief to trying to negotiate with God for any chance to have her back.

 

As the time drew near to leave the hospital, we had one last opportunity to spend time with her. We wanted to dress her, have her blessed with our family priest and start the process of letting her go. It became clear to us with very little time left that none of the outfits we had for her would remotely fit her and suddenly we were faced with the urgent need to find something that was appropriate that may fit her with one day to locate it. We were fortunate that a neighbouring village has a baby store and had two premature dresses in stock. The shop owner was generous and let us have both outfits and return the one we didn't use and came in to open early so we could have it the day I was leaving the hospital. We were lucky, had she not been able to meet us we would have been left with whatever we could find. The one and only time we would ever have to dress her and spend our final hours would have been overshadowed with a sense of failing her.

 

It is the last thing you could possible think of, the detail that no parent wants to face. It is something that quickly becomes overlooked in the face of such shattered hopes and dreams. It is a detail that should be a simple matter against the magnitude of events and my goal is to help other families who must share this experience by trying to ease the stress of this one detail. 

 

By having garments prepared and available at the hospital, it removes the stress and worry we went through and allows the family to spend their time and attention of every second they can have with their child. 

Sarah Evelyn Shaw-Walker

15th December 2013

Here for but a moment

Zaagi

supporting families in crisis

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